So if what is experiencing these experiences can't be seen, has no objective qualities, who am I? Who or what is experiencing all this? Something is. As I look for the ME that is more than just a sensation in my body, I can't find it. If the feelings that I usually associate with me are merely sensations in my body that "I" can look at, what is this "I"?
I seem to BE the seeing that can't be seen. I am just awareness that is shining on all of these sensations and emotions.
So as this awareness shines on these sensations that used to be me, in my chest, throat, and head, I notice that these feelings are just perceptions and really are of the same quality as the sensation of the chair under me, or the computer resting on my lap, or for that matter the sound of the birds outside, and the taste and smell of my tea. They are all perceptions.
Now that the sensations that I used to identify with as me have been demoted to perceptions without a perceiver, it seems like experiencing is just happening. There is just awareness like a light coming out of nowhere, illuminating everything. I feel connected to everything, a part of everything I experience. When this is happening, the sensation now in my body is one of peace and happiness. When I see another person, the experience is compassion. And when I look around, the experience is beauty.
So how do I make this last?
Oops. Now I'm no longer exploring experience but thinking about another time besides the present. I'm thinking and worrying about how to make this experience last into the future and not exploring. Exploring experience only happens in the "now".
So is thinking what keeps me from peace and happiness?
Black Bean Soup
2 months ago