Last evening as Kim was turning her business world upside down joining Etsy, I gave myself a headache worrying about everything that could go wrong. I didn't say anything to her of course; I trust her instincts in these matters. But I couldn't stop my mind from from just mulling over the old adage if it ain't broke, don't fix it. The headache lasted all night until during my morning meditation when I came across a passage in one of my favorite books which read; "If you are afraid, it means that you don't trust that God has a plan for you". All of my intentions are focused on learning all I can about this existence and bringing the divine within all of us into my daily life. I have to trust that those intentions will lead me to where I am supposed to go.
As I mentioned before, I woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago, couldn't sleep, so I meditated. For about 20 minutes I had the greatest monologue sort of steam through my head about life and spirit and stuff, and the end conclusion was that I should start up my blog again; just put myself and my thoughts out there. I know, I told you most of this already, but the really amazing thing happened the next morning. Kim and I were having coffee and Kim usually brings her Osho Zen Tarot deck out just in case we want a reading to start our day. After having this wonderful midnight meditation, I decided to consult the Tarot about whether or not I should start up this blog site again. The card I drew was called Flowering, the Queen of Rainbows. Here are a few excerpts:
"The sleeves of her garment contain an abundance of seeds, and as the wind blows the seeds will be scattered to take root where they may. She is not concerned whether they land on the soil or on the rocks - she is just spreading them everywhere in sheer celebration of life and love. You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered with blessings from everywhere. Welcome the bees, invite the birds to drink your nectar. Spread your joy around for all to share"
And if that wasn't enough, it goes on..."Your life should reach to others.Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too. This is real compassion, this is real love; sharing your enlightenment, sharing your dance of the beyond"
How's that for a confirmation. But just how does that work? How does the Tarot or the I-Ching give us responses that seem soooo appropriate so many times. Not every time, of course, but they are right on more than not.
I don't know, but I do know that these kinds of things happen more and more as I ask for them and thank who or what ever is causing them. Do I believe it's God? Yes. Do I believe it is the same Christian God out there somewhere? No. I believe God is life energy, a vital part of each of us. And bigger than what we normally think of as contained within an individual, spreading out and connecting us to all the rest of life. Sort of mirror like too and very loving and accepting, so that if we want to explore life without believing in God, than that's what we get. If you want to tap into the Divine energy inside of you, it's easier than most people think.
I was at a dinner party the other night and one of the guests was talking about something and interjected, " thank God" as a lot of people do just as an expletive. But then she turned to Kim an said, " of course I don't really believe in God." And that's fine with me. I have no problem with anyone whose life is OK without God or has not felt a need for believing in anything spiritual. But there was an article in a recent Newsweek in which an atheist and a Christian pastor were arguing about evidence of the existence of God, and I was amazed at how vehemently the atheist was making his case. I remember sitting one day years ago watching an ant crawling over my big toe and wondering how much he understood about what he was crawling over. He obviously didn't understand my ability to appreciate Mozart nor could he join with me in a discussion on existentialism. So how is it that any of us crawling around on this planet can know with such certainty all that is going on. We just don't have the capacity to understand it all anymore than the ant can grasp humanity. It seems to be naive to think that all the power behind the lives of people like Dr Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and thousands more, can all be lumped under self delusion.
I put this out there at the beginning of this discussion because a lot of what I have to say from here on is about my beliefs which I will never be able to prove to anyone else. So let's just all keep an open mind.