Thursday, September 20, 2007

Who am I?

I have this little exercise that I do whenever I feel an emotion that I'm not happy about or feels uncomfortable in some way. Without trying to change the feeling in any way, I just look at it. Where exactly is it in my body? With any kind of fear or anxiety, it is usually in both my throat and chest at the same time; kind of like a swollen hot dog that's stuck and won't move. What exactly does it feel like? The important thing for this exercise is to not try to make it go away, just feel it. It doesn't take long before something interesting starts to happen. But first let's look at the language we use when we describe these kinds of sensations. Don't we usually say to ourselves, I'm depressed, or I'm angry or I'm really nervous about this or that. Basically we are saying we ARE anger, fear, depression or whatever. It has, at least momentarily, taken over all of our awareness and for all practical purposes our personality. But when I just look at this emotion with no effort to resist it or change it, not thinking about it or analyzing it, I realize that I am actually someplace other than IN that emotion. I'm to the back a little bit seeing it, but I'm not IN it. When you look at something, YOU must be someplace other than the thing you are looking at. And invariably that emotion, as I watch outside of it, begins to morph little by little into something less threatening and overwhelming.

For me, this has a profound effect on how I act on whatever the situation was that caused this emotion to arise. I can now distinguish between who I am, and what I'm feeling. Feelings come and go, but if I remain a little more constant than the rising and falling of my emotions, my actions are different than when I'm swept along by them.

And that makes me feel better!

2 comments:

Jean said...

that is very good. very good thinking!

Cathy in Oregon said...

Hi Rick,

I haven’t visited for awhile. I wandered over here when there was no news from Kim about her Dad. (I hope all is well.) What a flash of synchronicity. I’m reading Mandala of Being and it seems like every word was written for me. This book has already changed my life and I’m only on page 65. Actually reading the introduction changed my life.

Three friends and I formed a study group last spring and this is our seventh book. I’m so thankful to have like-minded people to talk with about all these ideas. Have you discovered the five part free seminar on the Richard Moss web site? I like it very much too.

Like your tarot card, when things fall together like this it becomes very apparent I am on the right path. Even if it’s uncomfortable.

I love the new name and look of your blog. I always enjoy pictures of you and the birds, it speaks to me of your gentle spirit.

I hope I get to see you soon.

xoxoxo

Hunt, and hunt hard, for pleasure.
Be greedy for joy, and
make no apologies for needing it.
Because the trick is not surviving.
It’s thriving.

Amanda Robb